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Spiritual abuse: e.g. The abuser using scripture or beliefs to humiliate or embarrass you, using beliefs or the scripture to make the victim feel pressured or obligated to do things against their will, the abuser using the victims’ spiritual aspirations as a means of attack, throwing scripture at the victim, bombing the partner with accusations that the partner isn’t complying with the spiritual values that the partner holds dear etc. 

Recently I came across the true story of a Muslimah (a Muslim woman) who uses the face veil (Niqab). One day, her female colleague in the office asked them to spend the evening together as she had something to tell the Muslimah. In the privacy of her home, she explained to the Muslimah that she had seen her video on a porn site; the Muslimah was shocked; she told this colleague of hers that she had never filmed herself during a sexual act before and that, in fact, she had never slept with anyone else except her legally married husband, she was stunned by her colleagues’ claims and didn’t believe what her colleague had said. 

The mate is to be lived with; in security, harmony and love…   

Hello beautiful people. 

I am currently working on a presentation on domestic violence DV. As part of my research on the Nigeria fact file, I stumbled upon a nationwide research poll before Covid 19 that revealed that about 54% of Nigerians have suffered a form of domestic violence or know someone that has experienced domestic violence in their homes. One out of every three admitted to being a victim of domestic violence, and that blew me away. Gosh… is this for real. Are things that bad...

Every bit of existence has a connection to TRUST. For human, trust always precedes or exist with our actions. Trust is “a firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something.” Common in our everyday conversations are phrases such as “truth be told...” before establishing a fact. Enthrallingly, whether the fact is genuinely true does not guarantee the listener will believe the fact, no matter how it is presented. What will make the listener accept it to be the truth is TRUST, either trust in themselves (the power to judge, accept or reject intellectually) or trust in the speaker by giving up their judgement. This leads us to another commonly adopted maxim; “do not trust anyone”. The inference from the adage is to admit the imperfection of man, his ability to err or deceive by choice for various reasons. 

Futuwwa can mean spiritual chivalry. This term embraces all forms of good manners (adab) or character traits, including generosity, humility, loyalty, courage, and turning a blind eye to others' sins. To perfect or attain a high rank in a spiritual state, one must try the possible best to denounce all blameworthy traits and adorn the soul with praiseworthy characteristics. These sets of commendable traits are decoded in Futuwwa. And I find it suitable to describe Hajjia Muhsinat Yusuf. Being in a state of futuwwa is a long-life practice that believers seeking to purify their souls engage in till their last breath. Seeking nothing but Allah's pleasure and hoping to rid off the baggage of dirt in the heart. 

As psychotherapists, we tell our clients to follow their envy; it shows them what they want. The first time I heard this statement from one of my trainers in the person of Lori Gottlieb, I was like, What!!! Really! I should follow my envy… Who

Recently, I read a quote, commonly been transmitted and adopted to be true and hardly disputed. It is says: the best form of wealth is "peace of mind". The acceptance of this fact is one thing, the understanding of its concept is another thing. Conventionally, wealth is understood to mean a possession, in abundance, of (physical) things that are valuable to human being in relation to time or era. For example, a luxurious car in the 1960s will most likely be a scrap in 2021. A dictionary also defines wealth as; "The state of being rich and affluent; having a plentiful supply of material goods and money". But when an abstract concept like "peace of mind" is defined in a physical sense, it is definitely done on purpose. That is, to give value and ignite a reflective meaning to the idea and the fact that human being can easily be distracted, dazzled and lost in admiration for physical matter.

Any idea or theory expressed with an impression of providing salvation or an everlasting solution commonly makes "committed' monotheists very sensitive and reactionary. This is especially true for Muslims because the oneness of God is the ultimate teaching and the most unequivocal belief in Islam. While other factors also determine this sensitivity, the underlying reason is theological - the belief that true salvation can only be from Allah, the Lord of Majesty and Bounty. I affirm that this sensitivity should be kept alive and respected.

Imagine a fiction of a nation on a mission to uncover some secrets in a dungeon. This mission is expected to take years of effort to be accomplished. Periodically new officers are recruited to replace the fallen or substitute the injured ones. Upon their recruitment, the chief commandant of the mission has a complete profile of all intakes. The profiles, which are constantly updated, including but not limited to the bio-data, psychological make-up, strength and weakness, history, background and every other information we can think of a human being. These pieces of information enable the mission’s board to pre-determine the potential needs of each officer throughout their stay in mission camp. Provision is readily made available according to the need of individual soldiers. Based on these profiles, precise predictions can be made of when and how an officer’s needs should be fulfilled. The profiles can also help predict the potential cravings of each member - while the provision is available for such, the commandant determines what part of the officers’ cravings will be made available after considering the pros and cons of life on camp.

Reminiscing on a recent incident has helped me understand (in a practical sense) human and the way we operate. The difference between having experiences and information is like that of a human being and a robot. Both can have data to process information, but the latter do not have soulful senses: to listen; touch; smell or see. Meaning its senses are only useful for data collection while human senses not only collate data (by the brain) with these senses, they are also in-roads to the heart, and they have effects on the soul which make a distinct and unparalleled difference. 

One of the reasons why it is difficult for most humans to give up potions of their wealth is the notion of entitlement or a false belief the wealth they own is due to their hard work. More unfortunate is that most of us perceive the possession of wealth as "the source" of survival and enjoyment; thus, we do our best not to lose it, which leads to hoarding and stinginess. 

The definition of knowledge is unusual to begin a book that wants to focus on inward reality as one would assume the priority should be something practical and not abstract. However, Imam al-Ghazali explains the very purpose of religion as all affairs that have to do with affirming the existence and submitting to Allah (God). The religion is truth and what is the truth is that which is known to correspond with reality. The reality is Allah (God). In this form of religion, all we need to do to submit to Allah (God) requires knowledge. This justifies why the book must start with understanding what knowledge means, including the what and why of knowledge. One thing the Prophet was commanded by Allah (God) to seek an increase in is "knowledge", in Suratul TaHa (20:114) 

With excitement comes the announcement of our new series, "Road map to self-purification". This new series will be forty episodes long. A summary of Islamic spirituality that will be heavily sourced from Imam Ghazali's magnum opus, the Ihya Ulumuddin (Revival of Religious Sciences). While the voluminous book primarily focuses on helping the Muslim understand the ideal approach to the worship of God in relation to their existence, it is well celebrated by both Muslims and non-muslims, scholars and laypeople because of it's meticulous, easy-to-follow approach that will help human being discover their link and reverence to Almighty God while maintaining balance in the outward and inward affairs. It is an instructive, practical step that will help us achieve elevation in the real sense of it.