Bridging the gap - Childhood trauma and suicidality

Bridging the gap - Childhood trauma and suicidality

Hello people!!! 
So I have decided to bridge the gap in my own little way between the ivory tower (institutions of learning) and the layman by bringing on to your lap some of the findings in research in the field of psychology and/or to become the voice of the voiceless by sharing their story… of course along with my musings… This I intend to do randomly. So watch my space for when I post!!! 

So today am going to be sharing the voice of one of the voiceless from mixed-method research done on some women who had experienced childhood trauma and as an adult are now suicidal. 
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Questions answered - Is the Human Specie Predominately Monogamous?

Questions answered - Is the Human Specie Predominately Monogamous?

So in my last article, I tried to answer the question, are humans predominately monogamous?

This question I sure did answer by putting out the data. However, I have been asked many questions following the article release; question such as even though we predominately practice monogamy, are we naturally monogamous people or practice monogamy because society (government) has legally discouraged polygamy by banning it in a lot of countries? Is polygyny (a form of polygamy) peculiar to Muslims, and are there variants of polygyny known? Etc.
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Life Lessons

Life Lessons

Reminiscing on a recent incident has helped me understand (in a practical sense) human and the way we operate. The difference between having experiences and information is like that of a human being and a robot. Both can have data to process information, but the latter do not have soulful senses: to listen; touch; smell or see. Meaning its senses are only useful for data collection while human senses not only collate data (by the brain) with these senses, they are also in-roads to the heart, and they have effects on the soul which make a distinct and unparalleled difference. 
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Why conventional marriage wisdom is wrong

Why conventional marriage wisdom is wrong

John Gottman, PhD.  -   July 11, 2018
This article originally appeared in The Washington Post, co-authored by Christopher Dollard and John Gottman

Marriage is one of the oldest social, economic, religious and legal institutions in the world, and there’s no shortage of opinions on what makes it work. But much of the conventional wisdom is not based on evidence, and some are flat-out wrong. After researching thousands of couples for more than 40 years at The Gottman Institute, these are some of the myths we’ve encountered most often.
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Is the Human Specie Predominately Monogamous?

Is the Human Specie Predominately Monogamous?

I know the hot gist of DNA testing and infidelity in women that was a fallout of the banker wife who was insinuated to have caused her husband's death after telling him he isn't the father of her children is going cold. However, the after effect lingers on severely. While many people have said a thing or two on this issue, I wanted to dig deep and explore the concept of monogamy, infidelity and affairs. 

As a couples therapist with an extra speciality in treating affairs and trauma in relationships, I know that affairs form a significant part of many marriages' issues, but are affairs that rampant and are we predominately monogamous or polygamous people. What does the science say?
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RENEWAL SERIES: Episode 6: First Quarter: On Acts of Worship Book 6: Mysteries of Fasting

RENEWAL SERIES: Episode 6: First Quarter: On Acts of Worship Book 6: Mysteries of Fasting

Every living organism needs a constant supply of energy to survive for each temporary or transient journey it takes. For human beings, food is essential for survival especially for nourishment and energy to carry out their activities.  Too much food will however lead to laziness or render one inactive. This means that food must be seen as a medicine for survival, where poor prescription (or consumption) will have a side effect. In other words, a sensible person pays attention to the quality and quantity of food intake knowing it plays a role in the wellness of his/her being. 
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RENEWAL SERIES: Episode 5: First Quarter: On Acts of Worship Book 5: Mysteries of Zakat (Charity)

RENEWAL SERIES: Episode 5: First Quarter: On Acts of Worship Book 5: Mysteries of Zakat (Charity)

One of the reasons why it is difficult for most humans to give up potions of their wealth is the notion of entitlement or a false belief the wealth they own is due to their hard work. More unfortunate is that most of us perceive the possession of wealth as "the source" of survival and enjoyment; thus, we do our best not to lose it, which leads to hoarding and stinginess. 
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RENEWAL SERIES: First Quarter: On Acts of Worship  Book 3: Mysteries of Worship

RENEWAL SERIES: First Quarter: On Acts of Worship Book 3: Mysteries of Worship

"The hardest test I ever faced in my life was praying. You understand. But bending my knees to pray -- that act -- well, that took me a week ... I had to force myself to bend my knees. And waves of shame and embarrassment would force me back up. For evil to bend its knees, admitting its guilt, and to implore God's forgiveness is the hardest thing in the world. It's easy for me to see and to say that now. But then, when I was the personification of evil, I was going through it. Again, I would force myself back down into the praying-to-Allah posture. When finally, I was able to make myself stay down -- I didn't know what to say to Allah." (The Autobiography of Malcolm X). 
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RENEWAL SERIES: First Quarter - On Acts of Worship Book 3: Mysteries of  Purity

RENEWAL SERIES: First Quarter - On Acts of Worship Book 3: Mysteries of Purity

Whenever the word purification is mentioned, the concept that comes to most mind is the cleanliness of an object, so cleansing for rituals is automatically associated with purification of the body from filth. Imam al-Ghazali redirects our attention to the reality of purity. Purification is an integral part of worship but is not limited to cleaning some body parts. 

The transaction between us and Allah (God) is built upon purity, and the religion is of three levels; Islam (associated to five pillars of worship), Eeman (the beliefs in oneness of God), and Ihsan (the state of Excellence with God while perfecting Islam and Eeman). These are synonymous with; body (outward), mind (inward), and the soul (inward of the inward).
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RENEWAL SERIES: First Quarter - On Acts of Worship Book 2: Foundations of Belief

RENEWAL SERIES: First Quarter - On Acts of Worship Book 2: Foundations of Belief

What is essential of a believer is to know who you are in connection to having faith in your Lord and His Messenger and the other crucial components of belief (or articles of faith) that serves as the foundation for a creed. Because we are Allah's (God's), and to Him is our return as we always affirm when a person dies. This statement is to remind us of the reality of our existence, not to pity the dead.
As explained in the introduction, the Ihya book's essence is the realization of faith as a knowledge that is lived and acted upon to improve our connection to Allah (God), the state of the heart in every action and inaction.

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RENEWAL SERIES: First Quarter - On Acts of Worship

RENEWAL SERIES: First Quarter - On Acts of Worship

The definition of knowledge is unusual to begin a book that wants to focus on inward reality as one would assume the priority should be something practical and not abstract. However, Imam al-Ghazali explains the very purpose of religion as all affairs that have to do with affirming the existence and submitting to Allah (God). The religion is truth and what is the truth is that which is known to correspond with reality. The reality is Allah (God). In this form of religion, all we need to do to submit to Allah (God) requires knowledge. This justifies why the book must start with understanding what knowledge means, including the what and why of knowledge. One thing the Prophet was commanded by Allah (God) to seek an increase in is "knowledge", in Suratul TaHa (20:114) 

"...and say, "My Lord, increase me in knowledge." 

There are lots of evidence in traditions that point to the virtues of knowledge and the status of the possessor in the community of men.
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Monday Motivation: Do something that scares you this week

Monday Motivation: Do something that scares you this week

Sharing this alone is giving me some jitters. (Make sure you read to the end to know WHY!)
I read the quote by Eleanor Roosevelt, who said, "Do one thing every day that scares you," and for a while now, I have been doing that, and seriously my productivity as soared. No more unnecessary procrastination for me (I can procrastinate for Africa) and literarily no more excuses.
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RENEWAL SERIES: Road map to Self Purification.

RENEWAL SERIES: Road map to Self Purification.

With excitement comes the announcement of our new series, "Road map to self-purification". This new series will be forty episodes long. A summary of Islamic spirituality that will be heavily sourced from Imam Ghazali's magnum opus, the Ihya Ulumuddin (Revival of Religious Sciences). While the voluminous book primarily focuses on helping the Muslim understand the ideal approach to the worship of God in relation to their existence, it is well celebrated by both Muslims and non-muslims, scholars and laypeople because of it's meticulous, easy-to-follow approach that will help human being discover their link and reverence to Almighty God while maintaining balance in the outward and inward affairs. It is an instructive, practical step that will help us achieve elevation in the real sense of it. 
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Trailblazing women - Kafayat Sanni

Trailblazing women - Kafayat Sanni

Again we bring you another trailblazing woman of our century, Kafayat Sanni, Nigerian first Female Fighter Jet Pilot. Isn't it surprising that in the 55-year-old history of the Nigerian Air Force, a female is just getting to be a fighter jet pilot? This goes to show that there are still a lot of places and things women haven't explored. 
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Trailblazing women - Tolulope Arotile

Trailblazing women - Tolulope Arotile

Today's trailblazing woman is the Late Tolulope Arotile, the First female combat helicopter pilot in the Nigeria Airforce. She was born on the 13th of December 1995 to the Family of Mr. and Mrs. Arotile and hailed from Kogi state. This trailblazing woman was barely 24 years when she was winged as the first female combat helicopter pilot. Arotile held a commercial pilot license and underwent tactical flying training on the Agusta 109 Power attack helicopter in Italy. 
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Trailblazing women - Aminat Adegoke

Trailblazing women - Aminat Adegoke

I continue this week with another trailblazing woman changing the narratives on the Muslimah landscape. Today we bring you someone of our generation in our time, Aminat Adegoke. She isn't the first woman to make shoes for both men and women; however, she is the first fully covered face veiled Muslimah woman I know who makes shoes for men and women in Nigeria.  
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Birth of an Addiction

Birth of an Addiction

Why do some people get addicted to pornography, drugs, and other substances, while others never get addicted? What will make some individuals drink like a fish, and when they decide to stop, they stop, and they are ok, yet others will drink a couple of glasses and get hooked? Why will an individual watch porn once and he or she is hooked, yet another will bump on the same porn but feel disgusted and never go back?
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Trailblazing women - Fatima Al-Fihri

Trailblazing women - Fatima Al-Fihri

Fatima Al-Fihri Trailblazing women! I love trailblazing Muslim women, badass women who, regardless of the patriarchy system they have found themselves continue to do, be and excel in all fronts. First on my list is Fatima Al-Fihri, the founder of Al-Qarawiyyin University, which happens to be the world's oldest university. 
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It's a disease

It's a disease

It's a disease! When an individual has diabetes, a chronic health (pancreas) disease, he is told to make lifestyle changes, begin insulin use, and tested for other health issues. These lifestyle changes include weight loss, diet change, less stress, more exercise, etc. When an individual has hypertension, which is also a chronic health (heart) disease, he is told to make lifestyle changes, begin anti-hypertensive drugs, and be tested for other health issues. The lifestyle changes for hypertension is the same for diabetes. 
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Poem - Depression

Poem - Depression

Poem Presented at Serenity Islamic Mental Health Awareness Event in Ottawa 2016

Merci/Thank you Depression!!

My friend Depression, you visited me in the cold weather of January 2016...you were like a snowstorm.

 You buried me under your 50 cm snow. It was deep...I was frozen..I couldn’t move, my mind was foggy...my head was heavy, my thoughts were racing, my heart was sinking..I wanted a break!! I couldn’t have it. I didn't know what was happening to me…

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Inspirational Quotes for International Womens Day. (Graphics)

Inspirational Quotes for International Womens Day. (Graphics)

Sunday 8th of March is international women's day, and this year we thought we create nine awesome and feisty women quote to fire you up and for you to share with others. 

I love to see women challenge the stereotypes and status quo around women. Badass women who challenge the traditional expectations of women such as Khadijah [RA] the strong, feisty woman who controlled men and women alike and built a business empire; Khawla bint Al Azhar, the badass warrior who fought like Khalid bin Walid, a nurse, a poet and an artist per excellence. Naima Robert, the lady of our time who shows that this day and age, you can soar and break prejudice and bias even in the burqa. 

Women, even in the early traditions, were not merely foolish girls or patient mothers. They fought battles and had whole verses dedicated to them. 

Of all the nine quotes we chose for this year, the one I like the most is the Laura Thatcher Ulrich quote. This is because yours truly if Khawla bint Walid decided to be "well behaved" to face her nursing duties and not join the ranks of the warriors, and even after joining, didn't charge forward to lead the army she won't make history. 

Did I ever mention I love bossy women? Oh yes, reason Amy Poehler's quote is so right on point. I am a boss myself, so would you love to be around me? Meanwhile, we have tried to mix old quotes from the past generations with new quotes from this present generation and probably share one or two you may have never heard before. 

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Welcome to our online store

Welcome to our online store

Welcome to our online store! Our team is proud to announce that we're now open for business, and we look forward to serving you all in the future. If you have any questions about this store, the services we render or the products found within, please don't hesitate to contact us any time. Our website has been carefully designed to provide you with an amazingly flexible online shopping experience, schedule appointments or a session and its ease of navigation is something we think you'll grow to depend on and appreciate. Feel free to browse the services we render and our entire product catalog, and let us know if you have any questions, comments or concerns about the items housed within. Our team is always ready and willing to assist our clients, and we are happy for your visit.
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