As psychotherapists, we tell our clients to follow their envy; it shows them what they want. The first time I heard this statement from one of my trainers in the person of Lori Gottlieb, I was like, What!!! Really! I should follow my envy… Who envy epp.
Then it struck me. Yes, this is very true. "Follow your envy; it shows you what you want". Because the things you envy, the people you envy; you envy them because you want what they have. You envy them because deep down inside, you really wish you had what they have, or you wish those things were yours. So, when you envy a couple that has a beautiful relationship. It means you want a beautiful relationship too. When you envy someone with a lot of money and is doing good with that money, you wish to have that kind of money.
Inherently, we are not evil bad people who want bad things for others; the emotion of envy, just like every other emotion, is neither a good nor a bad emotion. This emotion is placed in each and every one of us to give us information (emotions are data); what we do with this information is all that matters. Apparently, envy is an emotion that tells us what we really want in life.
Back to my first encounter with the statement, as I thought of it deeply, the next thing that came to my mind was, hey, Hauwa! What do you envy? Who do you envy? As I critically thought about it, I realized I envy people who speak well. These individuals are invited to give lectures and give the lecture well. I mean WELL. Not in your toastmaster's kind of way (those are more of speeches) but in your down to earth Brene Brown kind of way. Funny how I envy good lecturers. I mean, I envy lecturers, generally, who know their stuff very well and can teach it to their students. I love and respect lecturers who are the bearers of knowledge. The scholars and the sages who have taken it upon themselves to continue to propagate knowledge regardless. I love people who impart knowledge, and I guess that's why I've always thought I had a calling to be a lecturer myself because I love (envy) the professors. Yeah. So, if I follow my envy, it means I want to be a professor myself. And did you notice how my jealousy/envy turns to love and admiration…
What else do I envy? Who else do I envy? I guess in all of the professions. The people I really envy is the Doctors. I never think twice of any other profession (apologies to you all); however, the doctors, regardless of what kind of a doctor it is, either by MBBS, PsyD or by PhD, are admired, appreciated, and envied by me. Guess what… I am following my envy because it is showing me what I want. I want to be a doctor of the mind, hearts, soul, and of course, of the body. Helping you care for your mind, heart, body, and soul.
What else do I envy? Who else do I envy? On and on, I went unravelling what I was envious of or about. Enough of my envy, though, of which I am all following. What about YOU… Follow what you envy because that is what you really want. So, ask yourself. What do you envy? Who do you envy? Do you covet that strong superwoman who stands up for her right? Or do you envy that pleasant man who is the coolest bachelor in town? Or perhaps you envy that office colleague of yours who seems always to have all her acts together?
Who are those people you are envious of? What is that thing that you're jealous of? Trust me; you want those things, that's why.
Think about it. Follow your envy…
Comment as you wish and follow your envy.
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Interesting perspective , that’s a really positive spin on envy
Amb Dr Lovelyn A.O
I see, insightful from another perspective
Who envy epp ?? I was reading without seeing the name of the poster but when I saw that I had to go back and see knowing it most be a Naija person. Thanks for sharing. Envy the good kindhas become a sign post for me as well that I want something. First thing is to check whether it’s positive envy (ghitba) or the negative one (hasd). In any case I pray for the person to have more barakah then do like Prophet Zakariah when he saw Maryam’s pregnancy, he was inspired to also continue his own dua for offspring. Alhamdulillah for seeing people who have already succeeded at what we are aiming for.
Interesting perspective. Knowing what we Envy (positively)and invariably what we want can help us be better.
First time reading a very convincing thoughts on ency and how we can use it constructively. Quite insightful! Thanks !!!